


Delicacies of the Heart

by whispersofafangirl



Category: Actor RPF, Benedict Cumberbatch - Fandom, British Actor RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Food, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-26
Updated: 2013-02-26
Packaged: 2017-12-03 17:49:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/700989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whispersofafangirl/pseuds/whispersofafangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liz, a transplanted American in London, tells her story about meeting and falling in love with Ben through a series of shared meals. Told in the first person.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blueberry Scones

We met at a coffee shop. It is so cliche when I think about it now. Girl meets boy at one of the most romanticized places in stories and television. A coffee shop. It made for a pretty lame “how we met” story.   
  
It was a typical Tuesday morning in March. Rain clouds threatening to soak everyone on their way to work and me rushing through the late morning commute to get to my favorite place to catch up on emails, surf the internet and just goof off. Tuesdays were always a slow day for me so I took advantage of a warm place that had friendly faces and nice music.   
  
It was unusually quiet that day in the coffee shop. Only five or six people scattered about the tables and looking intently at their laptops or tablets. I ordered my usual coffee with cream and took my favorite table to get set up. After plugging in and scattering the table with all my things, I sit down and sip the coffee while perusing the news.  
  
I was new to London then. I knew a total of six people (and that included three people from work). My family had thought I was nuts for leaving everything and going there but I didn’t care. I’d make it work even if I was lonely and sick of the perpetual rain clouds. The coffee shop ended up being my retreat. Somewhere that people “knew me” enough to say hello and give a friendly smile or perhaps chit-chat about the rain.   
  
So there I was, sitting and reading about nothing in particular and I hear this voice. “Tea..and a scone, please”. This ordinary order made me look up because of his voice. I look up at the counter and see a man wearing a black trenchcoat and a grey tweed flat hat. I look back down at my computer because I really didn’t want to be caught staring at costumers.  
  
“Ben, it’s so nice to see you back,” Louise, the shop owner, said.   
  
“Frankly, it is nice to be back, Louise,” he replied. “I’ve missed your scones. I think I’m going to eat it here so just heat it up and put it on a plate for me. Thank you, dear.”  
  
He sits down at the table in front of mine and faces me. I don’t look up right away, instead I pretend to read something on my laptop. All my mind is doing though is “that voice… that accent… must see if he is gorgeous too.”  
  
I peek up and grab a quick glance. Yes, gorgeous too, I think just as his eyes meet mine. I smile casually and look back down at the laptop and try my best not to blush. I fail.   
  
Louise walks by and gives the handsome stranger his order then stops at my table. “You sure you don’t want to eat anything?” she asks. “I really would love if you finally tried one of the scones.” She takes my mug to get more coffee for me but before I could say no to the scone, he interrupts.   
  
“You really should try the scone,” he states. “They are delicious.”  
I look up at him and give a shy smile, “Alright, obviously I am outnumbered now,” I reply which makes Louise incredibly happy.   
  
“Good decision,” he says, still looking at me and smiling.   
  
“Well, as I am not from here, I have a feeling I shouldn’t upset the locals,” I awkwardly joke.   
  
“Another fine decision,” he says and for a moment, I think the conversation is over so I look down but then he is standing at the side of my table with his tea and scone in hand. “You wouldn’t happen to want some company, would you?”  
  
I look up and realize that between his deep voice and the bright blue eyes that have me transfixed, I lack the ability to say no. “Please sit,” I say, motioning to the chair opposite of me. I close the laptop when Louise returns with new coffee and a scone in hand.   
  
He’s looking at me as I stir my coffee and suddenly I am keenly aware of the fact that I’m wearing an old hoodie, minimal makeup and my hair is in a messy ponytail while he is obviously well dressed in a pale blue button down shirt and slacks. I silently chide myself for my morning laziness.  
  
I take a sip of the coffee and realize he is actually waiting for me to try the scone. “Are you waiting for something?” I ask.   
  
“Yes, for you to take a bite,” he replies with a smirk. “I am very curious to see what you think.”  
  
I shake my head and giggle a little. “You Brits are very curious about how Americans feel about your food. I have spent the past few weeks with people watching my reaction from every meal I have out. Even fish and chips.”  
  
He laughs which makes him smile even bigger and causes my heart to skip a beat a little. “Oh I am sure,” he says. “Would it help if I told you my name? I have just realized that perhaps it is a bit unusual for a complete stranger ask to watch you eat without the courtesy of a name first.”  
  
“Yes, that will help,” I say as I extend my hand. “Liz.”  
  
“Ben… it is a pleasure to meet you, Liz,” he says. “Now take a bite.”  
  
I laugh at his order. “Ok, bossypants,” I say as I cut a piece off with my fork and pop it into my mouth. It tastes good. Better than I had thought it would. I make a moaning sound as I chew and Ben laughs.   
  
“I told you,” he says as he took a bite of his and makes the same delicious sound as he chews.   
  
Realizing we are two moaning fools in the middle of the coffee shop makes me shake my head. “We must sound ridiculous,” I observe as I nervously look around to see if anyone is noticing the orgasmic sounds coming from our table.   
  
He chokes a little with laughter. “Maybe but I don’t care.”  
  
We finish our scones, still moaning occasionally with him being deliberately loud at some points just to embarrass me and make me blush. I can’t lie; I loved the attention and the silliness.  
  
An hour passes of us talking about random things like how I still get lost around the city and how shocked he is that I haven’t tried a proper curry. The conversation was easy and playful. We laughed a lot.  
  
He looks at his watch and grumbles as his cell phone goes off. I’m convinced that this handsome man is about to walk out and the best hour I’ve had in London since arriving will be over. “I must leave. I am desperately late for an appointment,” he says, looking a little sad as well.   
  
“Ben, it was nice meeting you,” I say, trying not to appear too devastated.   
  
He leaned over the table and touched my hand. “Give me your number,” he says quietly. “I would love to watch you eat even more exotic British fare.” He smirks a little as he says it but I know that he’s serious.  
  
I write my number and name on a post-it and stick it to the back of his hand. “If it’s more exotic than a scone, then I’m going to be terrified. It may need to come with a glass of wine,” I say with a wink.   
  
“It’s a deal then,” he says as he removes the post-it and tucks it in his front pocket. “I will see you soon, Liz.”  
  
“I hope so,” I whisper as I watch him walk out of the coffee shop and down the street.


	2. A Proper Curry

My heart was still fluttering when I left the coffee shop that day. Even if he never called me, I managed to flirt and meet someone new in London and that felt like a huge step in the right direction. When I got home and unpacked all my things, I started some soup on the stove and pulled out my phone to call into my boss. 

New text message flashed across my lock screen. I lacked the confidence to assume it was him but when I opened it, I saw:

_Liz- Out of all the fine British cuisine I have thought about, I think the next step is to take you to try a proper curry. London is known for it and I must admit I would very much like to take you to the best place in town and watch you experience it first-hand. It is short notice but would tonight work for you? Ben_

Thrilled can’t fully describe just how happy this text made me. I even squealed a little. I had to take several deep breaths before answering him too quickly (because I didn’t want to seem too interested- how silly). 

_Ben- Sounds lovely. Text me the time and place and I will meet you there. Liz_

A few minutes later, he texted me the address and time we should meet. I spent much of the afternoon rushing around, finishing my work and figuring out what I should wear. Was it a date? Or just friends meeting up? Questions ran through my mind the rest of the day but in the end I decided that I would go assuming we were just friends  and have no expectations other than making a new friend in a strange city. If I was wrong then all the better but I refused to allow myself to get my hopes up.

After showering and getting dressed, I stood in front of my mirror for a good forty minutes trying to make my hair cooperate. Since moving to London, my normally straight brown hair would need little help and manage to look cute all day. Once I moved here though, it was wild and wavy. I tried fighting it when I first moved but after a week of frustration and flat-iron, I gave in and allowed it to be wavy. I put in a pretty clip to pull it away from my face but did little more to it. If he was going to like me, it would be for the woman I am not a woman that wastes hours in front of a mirror. 

I was wearing my favorite pair of jeans and a turquoise sweater that made my brown eyes stand out. I accented my outfit with a few small silver jewelry pieces and then slipped on a pair of brown leather boots. After one final check in the mirror and a quick “this is not a date” reminder, I left to meet up with him.

I was relieved that it was close enough to walk to. The rain had tapered off to sprinkles but I was still carrying an umbrella. After a short ten minute walk, I arrived at the restaurant and find Ben standing by the door waiting for me. 

“I’m not late, am I?” I asked, concerned that I have kept him waiting. 

“No, not at all. For once, I’m early. I’m perpetually late,” Ben said as he opened the door and we walked into the small eatery. 

The Indian restaurant was a small but it was obvious someone had put a lot of thought into decorating it nicely. Curtains made out of pretty saris framed the large window front and on each table was a jeweled tone table cloth along with a small bud vase with flowers and a tea candle.  

“This is beautiful,” I commented as I sat down and took the menu out of the waiter’s hand. Ben removes his coat and I’m relieved to see he opted for jeans and black polo shirt. I decided right then and there that he would look good in anything.

Ben gave me a smile and then looked at the waiter, “Pete, how have you been?”

Pete, our waiter, was a young British Indian who I later found out was the eldest son of the owners. The two of them had small talk for a few minutes and then Ben turned to me and said, “I hope you don’t mind but I am going to order for us.”

“That’s fine,” I said. I put down the menu and listened as Ben ordered a few dishes and some drinks. Pete left to turn in the order. “It’s probably better that you ordered. This being my first time and all.”

Ben laughed, “Yes, I agree. You would probably end up ordering something too spicy and hating it. I can’t allow that. You can’t live in London and not like curry.”

We talked about my move to London and my job as a consultant to a hospital. They brought me in to help reorganize the distribution of work and to become more efficient. It was rather dull but I excelled at organizing other people’s lives but not my own. I told him that I enjoyed the fact I could work at home a few times a week and that it had given me the opportunity to experience living abroad.

“I feel like I’ve been doing all the talking,” I admitted. “What do you do, Ben?”

Before he could answer, Pete arrived with our meal and Ben started to explain, in detail, each dish. I decided to try the butter chicken first which proved to be a great choice. The fiery color was a little scary but it ended up being the perfect amount of heat. 

It seemed to please him a great deal whenever I tried something new and enjoyed it as much as him. My favorite that evening was the chicken tikka masala which was, as Ben informed me, Britian’s most popular dish. He was full of little trivia that night which made it fun and interesting. 

“You never answered my question,” I commented as the dishes were cleared. 

“Oh yes…. well,” Ben said as he sat back into the chair and seemed to hesitate. He looked nervous which worried me a little. 

“If you aren’t comfortable…” I started to say before he finally interrupted me. 

“It’s rather silly actually,” he began, “I work in the television business and have worked on some films.”

“That doesn’t sound silly,” I replied. “It sounds quite interesting. What exactly do you do?”

Fortunately for Ben, he didn’t have to answer right away because Pete interrupted us with dessert. He set down two bowls of kheer in front of us. “I hope you like it,” Pete said to me. “It’s like rice pudding.”

“Sounds wonderful,” I said before taking a bite and deciding it was my new favorite pudding. A small moaning sound escaped from my lips as I took another bite. 

“Well, I guess I don’t need to ask if you like it,” Ben said with a laugh. “I know what that sound means.”

I blushed at the comment because it could be taken so many different ways. “Yes, guilty as charged,” I replied. I ate some more of the kheer but couldn’t finish because I was just too full from the meal. 

We fussed over who was paying but he won only because Pete was his friend and he listened to Ben when he said, “Do not allow her to pay.” I moped a little at losing because I truly felt that it was the least I could have done. 

“How far are you from here?” Ben asked as we put on our jackets. 

“A ten minute walk,” I said, unsure of why he was asking. 

“Well, I would like to walk you home. I could do with a little walk after that wonderful meal,” he said. “That is… if you don’t mind.”

“Of course not,” I said as we headed out into the cold evening air. The rain had stopped but it was chillier than I had anticipated. “I will never get used to this weird weather. It’s late March and my mind is telling me it should be spring and getting warmer. It has remained chilly and rainy,” I commented as we started to walk down the street. 

Ben laughed, “I suppose California spoilt you. It should get better soon, I promise.”

I started to shiver as the wind picked up. I was mad at myself for not wearing a heavier coat. While I was busy giving myself a hard time about it, Ben noticed I got quiet. 

“You’re shivering,” he said as I turn to look up at him. He stopped just then and turned me to face him. “Here,” he said as he wrapped me up in his black cashmere scarf. “I think this will help.”

I smiled at him while I inhaled his wonderful smell. Not only was his voice and eyes enchanting, his choice of cologne was perfect. “Thank you,” I said quietly, trying not to let him see just how much I enjoyed it. 

“Take my arm,” he commanded and I obeyed quickly, wrapping my hand around his elbow. It felt so utterly romantic but at the same time, I had doubts that it was nothing more than him being a complete gentleman. He pointed out a few landmarks as I directed him towards my flat. As we reached my building, I stopped and motioned with a nod, “This is my place,” I said. 

“Oh, right,” he replied and if I had been looking for it, I would have noticed his disappointment at the time. The first awkward silence of the evening started just then. We looked at each other; both of us unsure what to do. 

“Would you like some tea?” I asked. “I mean…I’m not being forward. I just figured you’d like a cup of tea and you can call a cab while we’re having…”

Ben smiled at my invitation, “That sounds really nice but ummm…my automobile is parked by the restaurant and well, I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

“Oh.. well, that makes sense then,” I said. “Thank you for dinner and the use of your scarf.” I unraveled his scarf from my neck and handed it to him. 

“Liz?” he starts to ask me something but stops. “I really enjoyed our dinner together,” he said as he tied the scarf around his neck. “You are so much fun to talk to and thank you for allowing me the pleasure of teaching you about proper curries.”

“No… really, thank you,” I said. I shifted nervously on my feet and looked up at him one last time. “Goodnight Ben.”

Ben leaned down and kissed me on the cheek, “Goodnight Liz,” he whispered. I expected him to back away but instead his hand touched my cheek. Our eyes met and his thumb traced my jawline to my chin. He lifted my chin up and kissed me on the lips. Those lips… well, they felt as good on mine as I had briefly imagined that morning. I moaned just a little as it deepened and I felt his tongue press against my lip. 

“I know what that sound means,” he whispered in my ear before standing up again. That deep, rich voice almost melted me completely on that cold March night. 

I blushed. “Yes, well…” I stammered. “Be careful walking back,” I said as I unlocked the building’s door. 

“I will. Talk to you soon, Liz,” he said before heading back to his car. 

Once inside, I shut the door and leaned up against the door and sighed dramatically. “Oh lawd,” I giggled and fanned myself dramatically. I have to admit I felt like I had just kissed a prince. The man had quite an effect on me. 

The next morning, I woke up to my cell phone going off. New text message.

_Care to meet up for a pint tomorrow night? Ben_


	3. Cheap Wine and Takeaway

Over the next two weeks, Ben and I saw each other a couple of times. Each time, we shared a drink or some food and talked about life. We discussed our families and childhoods over a cup of coffee one afternoon and then one evening, discussed politics and world events over some sandwiches at a small cafe near my flat. He never did share what exactly he did for a living and I was okay with that for now because whenever it came up, it seemed to make him slightly uncomfortable and nervous. 

I was curious but not enough to really pry. I just was never really into watching television shows and my movie collection was primarily cheesy romantic comedies. He hadn’t told me at that point he was an actor, only that he worked in the ‘industry’. 

“Maybe he does porn,” my best friend, Anne, said over skype one day. 

I laughed hysterically at that. “I doubt it. Although maybe it’s a boring part of the industry like finance.”

“I don’t know, Lizzie,” she said, teasing me. “You said he’s a good kisser.”

“Yes but porn? No way.” I said. “ I would imagine a porn actor would have already whisked me off to bed and not have tolerated 2 hours of political debate the other day.”

“True but if he gets it for free at work, what’s the rush?” she cackled and then realized she may have gone too far when she realized I wasn’t laughing with her. “I’m sorry Lizzie… I’m just goofing off with you. Just promise me, you’ll find out soon what he does. It’s a bit odd you don’t know -yet-.”

“Yes, I will,” I said. “It’s not like he’s my boyfriend but before it gets too serious, I’ll make him tell me.”

After our goodbyes, I turned off the laptop and headed to the shower to get ready for tonight’s date. “He’s not your boyfriend,” I said out loud  reminding myself. “You’ve only kissed a few times and shared some meals.” 

That night felt different though. He was taking me to a jazz place that had live music and dancing. It felt more like a real date because it wasn’t at the coffee shop or sandwich place on my block. I had to dress up and skip the jeans.

I had exactly one nice dress in my closet. Since I wasn’t exactly a ‘clubbing’ girl, my evening attire choices were lacking. But the dress was black, sleeveless and accentuated my curves nicely so I wore it and made promised myself that I had to buy a couple more dresses in the near future. 

My brown hair was pulled up into an awkward side ponytail. It still wasn’t cooperating and I was so self-conscious about it that I almost started to cry. I gave up finally and just left it. I would never be great at doing my hair and makeup so Ben would just have to accept that about me. I had some simple silver jewelry on and the applied the best smokey eye I could. 

“You are a failure at being a woman,” I stated as I looked in the mirror, unhappy with my appearance. Why was I so nervous? Because I knew when I opened that door, he would be standing there looking perfect. It was almost unnerving at times just how handsome he was. If I was being honest with myself, I knew I was definitely dating ‘outside my league’. Nerves were definitely at an all-time high as the buzzer for my flat went off. 

I buzzed Ben in and waited for him to reach my door. Deep breaths, I whispered, reminding myself to breathe. He knocked. I opened the door and found him standing there soaking wet with dirty rain water and mud. “Oh my God! What happened to you?”

He shook his head in defeat. “A large puddle and a cabbie going over the speed limit,” he said. He sounded so sad. “I have managed to ruin our evening. And look at how gorgeous you are. You look beautiful, Liz. I am so sorry,” he said quietly.

He sounded like I would just break it off with him over this- like I would be mad. “Come on, I bet we can salvage the evening,” I said. He removed his soaked overcoat and discovered that his dress shirt was just as wet. “Hmmm, I probably don’t have any pants that fit you but I do have a sweatshirt. You look like you need a good, hot shower,” I said, as I brushed aside the one errant curl that was stuck to his forehead. 

Ben looked at me and genuinely seemed surprised that I wasn’t making a big deal about this. “Yes, I’m cold and feel filthy,” he said. “Would you mind?”

“Of course not,” I said. “While you are in the shower, I could throw your slacks in the dryer and socks if you need me too. Don’t worry,” I reassured him. “There will be other nights we can go.”

While Ben took a shower, I changed into jeans and a sweatshirt. I got out a bottle of wine and two glasses and ordered some Chinese food to be delivered. When the shower turned off, I knocked on the door and handed him his mostly dry slacks and a hoodie that should fit him. 

When he finally appeared, his hair was wet and curly and he smelled distinctly like my vanilla cupcake shower gel. I giggled a little, “You smell pretty.”

“Nice,” he said, rolling his eyes at my teasing. “Thank you for being…a good sport about this. I was really looking forward to this evening. I wanted to take you out on a proper date and dance with you,” he said as he walked over to me. 

I smiled, “I know, I was looking forward to it too,” I said. “But we’ll make the best of it. I ordered some food and found a bottle of wine. It’s not great but it’s something.”

Ben leaned in and kissed me on the forehead. “You are just amazing,” he said quietly. It was the first time he had said something like that. “Wine, takeaway and maybe a movie?” he asked as our foreheads touched and he looked down at me. 

“Yes,” I whispered breathlessly. “Sounds perfect.”

The intercom to the front door buzzed and interrupted our moment. “I’ll get that,” I said. “Maybe you can open the wine and find some glasses.” I hurried downstairs and paid the delivery boy for the Chinese food. When I got back, Ben had gotten out everything we needed for dinner. 

“I think it would be nice to eat in the living room,” he said. “Like a little picnic?”

We arranged our dinner on my coffee table and sat down on the floor. “I never bothered to get cable hooked up,” I said. “So we are a bit limited on what we can watch.”

“Not much of a television fan?” Ben asked me as he dished up some lo mein on our plates. 

“Nah, not really,” I said. “I’d rather read or knit. Gosh, I sound like an old lady.”

“No,” Ben replied. “Not at all. I think it is great.”

I gave him a grateful smile before starting to eat dinner. The subject was quickly changed to music and favorite songs. Thinking back on this, I should have asked right then what his job was. 

After dinner and on our second bottle of wine, Ben put on some music and he patted the space on the couch next to him, beckoning me to sit next to him. I sat down and felt so nervous at that moment. He couldn’t help but notice my hands fidgeting in my lap. 

“Liz,” he whispered, “are you nervous?” I felt him lean closer and his large hand grabbed both of mine and squeezed them carefully. 

“Me?” I said, acting oblivious. “No, of course not.”

“You are a bad liar,” he said as he kissed my shoulder. His lips found my neck and he slowly placed tiny kisses up to my lips. “If you don’t want me to kiss you, all you have to do is say so,” he whispered against my ear. He flicked his tongue against my earlobe and then he kissed my cheek again. “I would never want to do anything you didn’t want to do.”

God, the way Ben teased me. I literally squirmed at his last sentence. I don’t think I could name one thing I didn’t want him to do to me. I couldn’t stop myself from moaning just a little. He laughed a little which caused my cheeks to get hot and red with embarrassment. 

He reached up and with his hand, turned my face to him. “The way you blush drives me crazy,” he said. My eyes looked downward because his gaze was so intense that it almost hurt. “Look at me,” he whispered. My eyes lifted up and met his again. “That’s better,” he said, a smile returning to his face. 

I leaned in and kissed his smiling lips quickly in a playful way. His hand met the back of my head and pulled me in closer. “Oh no you don’t” he said. “That’s not very nice.” He kissed me passionately just then, not giving me time to tease back. He was fully in control now and there was no way I could possibly pull away- not that I wanted to. 

I don’t remember the last time I’d ever ‘made out’ with someone  but that night, there was so much kissing, my chin and cheeks were red and slightly sore from brushing against his stubble. We were like two teenagers in love on my couch. The groping didn’t start until I worked up enough courage to slip my hand under his hoodie and rub it along his chest. He moaned loudly as I caressed just around his belly button. His face pressed against my neck and I looked down and saw how hard he was through his trousers. I wanted so badly to touch him, to squeeze him.

He nipped at my neck as I continued to lift the hoodie up so I could feel his entire chest. Everything about him was firm and toned. “Take it off,” I whispered and I think it surprised him because he looked at me for a long moment before lifting it up over his head. I sighed loudly as I saw his bare shoulders and chest. He was gorgeous. 

“You too,” he said as his hand started to lift my shirt up and over my head, leaving me in my black lacey bra. Without a word, he leaned down and kissed area around the straps as his thumb teased me through the flimsy material. After that point, we were frantically trying to touch each other and more than once, we almost slid off the couch. 

“That’s it,” he said as he stood up and held his hand out for me. “I am taking you into the bedroom. There is simply not enough room on the couch.”

I looked up at him and almost hesitated but stood up too. “Um, ok,” I said and as soon I did, he swooped me up into his arms and started to carry me. “Ben!” I yelled but all I got was a grin as he carried me into my room and deposited me gently on my bed. 

He laid me down and was on top of me, kissing me again. My hands were running up and down his back and I could feel all of his muscles moving as he ran his hands along my body. I felt his hardness pressed against my thigh and it was all I could think about. I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him close against me, almost grinding against him. “I want you so much,” I whispered when his face was so close to mine. 

“And you shall have me,” he said as he leaned up and started to undress me. After my jeans were off, he slid off my panties as I unhooked my bra. I laid there, naked in front of him (and secretly grateful that it was dim in my bedroom at that time). He stood up and took off the remainder of his clothes then leaned back over top of me. 

I couldn’t stop myself from immediately taking his hard cock into my hand. He groaned loudly as I did and I saw his head lift up and his eyes close shut. My hand slid over him several times before he reached down to stop me. “Keep doing that and we’ll have an issue,” he whispered as he leaned down and flicked his tongue over my nipple. My hand quickly grabbed his hair; my fingers grasping his curls tightly. He started to suck on me roughly as I pulled on his hair.

I squirmed underneath of him, aching to be touched. He had me so worked up, I felt a frustrating need to orgasm grow within me. “What do you want?” he asked as his lips released my breast. He knew exactly what I wanted because his hand slid down to my inner thigh and then I felt his fingers find my clit. “Oh this?” he asked, teasing me. “This is what you so want?”

“Yes,” I said, frustration thick in my voice. 

“Hmmm, you are so wet, Liz,” he said. “I could swear you were right on the edge.” His finger started to circle around my clit slowly, causing me to pant and lift my hips up to him. “Oh yes,” he said with a smile. “Right on the edge.”

“Don’t stop,” I begged because I thought he was going to torture me but he didn’t. He listened to me and continued to push me towards an orgasm. He knelt up in between my legs and used his other hand to start fingering me. “Don’t stop, Ben,” I pleaded again just before I came. “Oh god… fuck,” I cried out. 

As my breathing slowed, he leaned down and tenderly kissed my lips. Without a word, he got up and for a moment, I thought he was going to leave but instead I watched as he pulled a condom out of his wallet and opened it up. I suppressed a nervous giggle as he put it on and laid back down on me. Had he planned on sleeping with me tonight or was he the sort of man who was always prepared?

“Liz, stop thinking so much,” he said against my ear as I felt his hand part my wet lips and he guided himself in. I moaned as he completely filled me. His hands cupped my head as we started to move together. I lifted my legs up and wrapped them around his back. It was slow and sensual. Every move was deliciously calculated and slow. His lips against my neck then I could hear his panting get faster and louder. 

His tongue licked the length of my neck causing me to dig my nails into his back. Ben groaned as I continued to scratch his back, encouraging him to go faster and deeper. He got louder with every thrust. His voice and the delicious sounds he was making were pushing me to the edge very quickly. Soon, we were moaning together and I thrusted up hard as I started to come again, tightening all around him. “Fuck,” he cried out unable to hold back anymore. With a few quick thrusts, he started to come and I could feel him pulse inside of me. 

We both caught our breath and kissed again. Eventually, he got up and wandered into the bathroom to take care of the washing up. I slid underneath the comforter and waited for him to return. 

He came back and climbed into bed and pulled me into his arms. His hand smoothed down my messy hair and he kissed the top of my head. We were both speechless for a little while. “I’m kinda glad that cabby was going too fast and spoiled our plans,” I whispered.

Ben laughed and nodded, “Me too, love.”


	4. Tea and Toast

“The selection of food in your kitchen is abysmal,” Ben informed me as he returned to the bedroom holding a plate of toast and a cup of tea. He was quite a sight, walking around my flat in just boxer shorts.

I sat up in bed and took the plate and cup. “Well, it is -just- me living here,” I said. “I don’t really need to keep a lot of food in the house. I barely eat here as it is.”

“You don’t enjoy cooking?” he asked. 

“I know I should say yes just to impress you but I won’t lie. I hate it. I burn things, I under cook things, and I’ve even given two people food poisoning,” I answered. “So, if that’s a deal breaker, tell me now. There’s little hope I will ever be able to wow you with culinary treats.”

“Food poisoning? Dear God, woman, did they recover?”

“Um… yes,” I said, thinking about the time I tried to cook chicken for my ex-boyfriend and his mother. I cringed and shook my head as I recalled him breaking up with me at the hospital. “They survived. Our relationship didn’t though. That’s why I’m saying… if it’s a deal breaker, get out now before I poison you.”

Ben laughed and kissed my cheek, “Cooking isn’t a requirement. I’m not great at it either so I can not judge. What are your deal breakers?”

I sipped my tea and gave this some consideration before answering. “Dishonesty, of course. I’d like to think the man I’m with can tell me anything. He has to like roller coasters. That is very important. And he has to tolerate the fact that I’m not a big fan of swimming in lakes or rivers or the ocean. Unless the ocean is clear- that’s ok.” I looked over at him and gave him a big smile. “How about you? deal breakers?”

I watched as he looked down at his tea and I worried for a second that maybe I had said one of his deal breakers and he was seriously contemplating breaking up with me right then and there. I know now that he was seriously concerned about my honesty remark. “Um, Ben? You hate roller coasters, don’t you?” I asked quietly. “It’s ok… I can settle for the ferris wheel or merry-go-round.”

That made him laugh. “Liz, you are silly. I enjoy amusement parks- including roller coasters. So no problem there. My deal breakers include honesty too. Patience, a good outlook on life and she must be able to at least make a decent cup of tea- which, by the way, I am willing to teach.”

“I don’t know. Boiling water. Sounds complicated,” I teased before putting down my plate on the nightstand and curling back up in bed. I looked up at him and watched as he finished his toast and tea. 

“I don’t know why you are still tired,” Ben said, giving me a disapproving look at the way I pulled the comforter up to my chin. “I can’t remember the last time I slept so well. You were pretty content as well, my dear,” he said. 

I yawned lazily. “I know… it was really nice having you here,” I said quietly. I thought back to the love making and smiled a little. We only had one condom but had spent a couple of times pleasing each other in other ways. I was a little irritated with myself that I hadn’t thought to buy any.

“What are you thinking about with that look on your face?” he asked as he finally joined me under the comforter. 

“That I should have bought condoms,” I laughed. 

Ben kissed me and pulled me against his chest. “Yes, that thought occurred to me last night too. We’ll be better prepared next time.”

I snuggled up against his chest and listened to his heart beating and his slow, relaxed breathing. We both were quiet and just enjoying the moment before he finally broke the silence. “Liz, I have a business appointment this afternoon so I have to leave soon. Do you want to meet for a drink tonight?”

I frowned against his chest but didn’t let him see my disappointment. “Sure,” I told him. “I’d like that.”

Later that afternoon, I cleaned up my tiny flat and then headed out to the store for some groceries and of course, condoms. While I locked my door, my neighbor and landlady were busy chatting about some excitement that had happened that morning. 

“LIZ!!! Did you hear that a famous actor was outside our building this morning and Frank saw him?” my landlady, Maddy, asked. Frank was an elderly man that lived downstairs from me. 

“What? No, I didn’t hear. Who was it??” I asked as I stepped over to her. 

Both women looked at me. “Well, Frank swore he saw the actor that plays Sherlock get into a taxi, right outside our building.”

“Robert Downey Jr??” I asked, a little excited about the prospect. 

“Oh, no dear,” Maddy laughed. “I forget you are American and you aren’t aware of the television programs here.”

“Oh,” I said and shrugged. Both women looked at me like I was some sort of weird foreigner now. “Well, it sounds exciting either way. I’m off to the store,” I said and left them to their gossip. I walked away and reminded myself that maybe I should get cable so I could keep up with some of the pop culture here. On the way to the grocery store, I stopped a small boutique that I always eyed the front window of. They had very feminine and pretty dresses on the mannequin.I went in and an hour later, walked out a proud owner of two new dresses, a skirt, and blouse. The saleslady even convinced me to  buy some accessories. 

Later on, I was busy getting ready. I felt like my life was finally on the right track. I was buying new clothes, going on dates, and felt like there was a real possibility of falling in love with a handsome British man. He was on my mind all day. I couldn’t stop thinking about him or our night together. 

My cell phone buzzed and I saw a text from Ben- _My meetings ran long and I still need to go home to change. Meet me at the pub at 9. You know, the one near the coffee shop. See you tonight._

It was my turn to run late that night. First, I had an embarrassing episode of spilling a soda on my outfit for the evening. Then, after I changed again, I broke a glass in the kitchen while I was cleaning up. Nothing was going right. 

It was almost 9:30 when I got to the pub. I had texted him at 9 to let him know I was running late and he seemed fine about it but I still felt bad. 

The pub was a small, friendly place down the street from me. I walked in and looked for Ben. At first, I couldn’t find him so I sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. I was about to text him but then I heard “Benedict! Ben!!”. I turned around and saw a blonde woman running towards the back of the pub and just as I stood up, I watched as she flung herself into Ben’s arms. 

My jaw dropped and my heart broke. I saw him hug her back and talk to her. Then she kissed him. On the lips. I saw everything. There was no denying it. I saw it with my own eyes.

Tears welled up in my eyes and I put money down on the bar to cover my drink. I walked right out that door and all the way home. 

One text. Two texts. A phone call.

_Liz? You still coming?_

_I’m starting to worry. Please text me._

I ignored them. Finally on the third call, I answered. “Who was she?” I demanded. 

“Who?” Ben asked, his voice thick with worry. “Liz, I don’t know what you saw but we really need to talk. Please. You need to let me talk to you about this.”

I was crying and unable to answer him. I just kept walking towards my flat. I turned off my phone and stuck it in my purse. How could I have been so stupid to think someone like him wanted me?

As I reached my building and was pulling out my keys, Ben pulled up in his car. “Liz! I need to talk to you!” he yelled and just got out of his car, leaving it running in front of the building. 

He grabbed my shoulders and turned me around. “Look at me,” he said. I could see the hurt in his eyes but I refused to allow it to affect me. The hurt was only because I caught him. “God, I’m a fool. I should have never let it go this far,” he said, his arms dropping. “I’m asking you to just give me 5 minutes to explain.”

                                   **Ben’s POV**

I felt like a jerk. I had ruined something so perfect with one miscalculation. There was nothing I wanted more than for Liz to love the real me. Not the actor me. Not the famous, rich me. But the real me. 

The past few weeks of getting to know her was a breath of fresh air. We talked about things that weren’t related to scripts, fashion or money. There were discussions of politics, religion and family. Topics that were rarely brought up with me anymore. It had felt like no one cared about the real me at the time. Until Liz. 

I thought that the day I saw her in the coffee shop that she would have recognized me. I was getting accustomed to people recognizing me after a conversation or just randomly on the street. It was fun most of the time. But it always left me questioning someone’s motivation if they wanted to befriend me and especially with women, I had become careful. 

So there she was, that silly American girl that looked like just a normal woman. Someone who wasn’t counting the caloric value of every morsel that went into her mouth; someone who would moan in delight over a scone. A girl next door of my very own. She was beautiful too. Not that she looked at herself that way but I saw the beauty in her. Her insecurities about herself saddened me. I wanted her to see what I saw and now, I doubted she would ever believe me again. 

Honesty. She warned me just that morning while I held her against me that she would never tolerate it. I hadn’t lied outright but I did cover up who I was. A lie by omission. It was going to hurt telling her but it would hurt more if she couldn’t understand. I was going to tell her. I just didn’t know how to do it the right way. Now, I had one chance to explain.

I watched her crying on the steps to her building. “Liz,” I said as I took her hand and held it in mine. “Please give me a chance to explain. I can’t do it here. I need to show you.”

She looked up at me, confused and angry. “I don’t want to go anywhere. I want to go home.”

I frowned. “Just let me show you something and then I promise I will bring you right back home. Please Liz, I cannot leave it like this” I pleaded. 

We looked at each other for a  moment. Her big brown eyes full of tears and hurt and it was all my fault. “Where do we have to go?”

“My home. It’s just a few blocks away. A five minute drive.”

She dropped my hand and relented. “I’m only doing this because I need to understand. Not to excuse whatever you have done.”

“Yes, I know,” I said softly as I opened the door to the car and let her in.

As we drove to my home, I looked over at her to gauge how she was feeling. “First and foremost, that woman wasn’t anyone I know. She was a fan.”

Liz looked over at me with disbelief. “A fan?”

“Yes, a fan,” I repeated. We pulled up at my home and I walked her in. I could see the surprise in her face over my townhome but she said nothing about it. I sat her down in the sitting room and paced in front of her. “Liz, this is going to be hard to explain.”

“Oh my God! Anne was right!” Liz said, her mouth wide open. “You… you… you are in the film industry… but not just the film industry. The -adult- film industry. That’s why the blonde bimbo hurled herself at you.”

“What??No, Liz! No! Not the adult film industry,” I said, stifling a laugh because I knew how mad she was. “That’s it. I just need to show you.” I couldn’t just tell her. She had to see with her own eyes. 

I put in a Sherlock DVD and sat down next to her. “I’m sorry. I should have told you before,” I said as the opening credits came up. “I’m an actor.”


	5. Jammie Dodgers & Milk

_Liz’s POV_

I sat there and waited while he fast forwarded to his scene. I realized in the meantime, the gossips in my building had seen him. He was Sherlock Holmes. Ben’s face appeared on screen and I looked at him then back at his character whipping a dead body with a riding crop. 

“Perhaps this wasn’t the best of scenes to show you,” Ben said, trying to lighten the mood a little. 

All I could do was look at him with disbelief.“So this is why, everywhere we went, you knew the owners and it wasn’t crowded,” I said quietly. Everything was starting to make sense now. 

“Yes,” Ben said softly as he sat down next to me. He looked at me with some hope in his eyes that I would understand him. His character came back on the television and his familiar voice filled the room. Ben’s hand touched mine. “Liz, I didn’t mean to deceive you. I truly didn’t.”

“You still weren’t honest with me,” I said. “I even asked a couple of times what you did and we were always interrupted or you never -quite- told me. You were tricking me.”

Ben looked down at his hands and nodded, “I know now that it was the wrong thing to do. It’s just…when I meet people now, they have this skewed view of me. I never know what it is they are after. I thought if you got to know me first, that you’d know the real me.”

I shook my head, “But Ben, I wasn’t getting to know the real you. I was getting the censored version of you. The parts that only you wanted to show me,” I said quietly. It still hurt to feel like I had been left in the dark like that on purpose. “How long would you have let this go on? What was the plan?”

Ben looked up at me. “The plan was to bring you here and sit down to talk to you about it. To show you,” he said. “I was planning on doing that the next time we met up. I was going to ask you over for dinner.”

“It was a risk going to the pub tonight. You had to have known that,” I said bluntly. 

“Yes but I wanted to see you,” Ben replied. He stood up and paced the room. I could see the agony he was going through. “I don’t know if you will ever trust me again, Liz. I just wanted someone to know the real me first. I’ve not handled this well. All of it,” he said. “It’s been very difficult to know who my real friends are and who just wants to tag along for the ride.”

“I can imagine that it is difficult. I’d like to say I wouldn’t have cared but I probably wouldn’t have talked to you so freely,” I admitted. “I probably would have been too anxious and worried to be myself. It’s bad enough that you are so utterly handsome that I worry whether I’m pretty enough for you. And now..” My words trailed off and I looked away. I would still have to deal with those feelings if I remained with him. 

Ben knelt down in front of me and took both of my hands into his. “Love, I feel horrible. I can see what a mistake I made. It was very selfish and wrong. I don’t know if you could ever forgive me. I just would like you to understand. You have been so wonderful to me. Our talks, the way we laugh together…. this may be the wrong time to say it but I may never get the chance again. Liz, I’m falling for you and I think you are falling for me.” Tears built up in his blue eyes as he said it. “My feelings for you are real.”

I didn’t doubt it. In my heart, I knew he was being genuine at that moment but the idea that he had tricked me wouldn’t leave. My fingers traced his cheek as he closed his eyes. “I don’t know what to do,” I said, my voice was shaky and suddenly, I was on the verge of tears again. “I’m so confused.”

Ben put his head down on my lap. I couldn’t hold back the tears the tears anymore. Ben looked up at me as I turned my face to hide my tears. He quickly stood me up and took me into his arms. There was nothing left to say. It was all out in the open now. I just had to decide what to do. 

“Do you want me to take you home?” he asked quietly as soon as my crying subsided a little. I shook my head against his chest. I didn’t want to go home, that much I knew. “Tell me what you want, Liz,” he whispered. “Tell me what I should do.”

“Is there anything else I should know?” I asked with a shaky voice. 

 

_Ben’s POV_

I smoothed her hair down with my hand and kissed the top of her head. “No,” I said. “I’m just an actor that is well-known here but that is all. I’ve been on a few shows and movies. Nothing terribly popular outside of this country. And it’s not like I didn’t want you to know. I did. I wanted to tell you,” I said. “I just wanted to feel like you liked me for me.”

Liz shifted in my arms and looked up at me. Her eyes were red from crying and I felt so horrible I had been the reason she cried. It hurt and I knew I deserved the guilt I was feeling. “I do like you for you,” she said and I knew she was telling the truth. 

I cupped her face with my hands and hoped that this was a good sign. That maybe she would forgive me for doing this. “Please, let me start over and make this right,” I offered. “I promise I will never hide anything from you again.” Liz looked up at me like a hurt little girl and I just crumbled. I wanted so badly to make things right. I was silently willing her to let me try again. To start over. 

Liz pulled away from me and stood looking at the television. Watching Sherlock and shaking her head. “You know, my whole building was in an uproar about Sherlock being outside this morning and here, I thought they meant Robert Downey, Jr. They were absolutely tickled over the idea that you got a cab outside the building. Like it was some amazing occurrence. Little did they know you were in my flat all night,” she said. She turned around and glanced at me and gave me the first smile I’d seen all night. “Mr. Holmes was in my bed,” she giggled. 

“Yes, he was,” I replied, giving her a smile. Relief flooded over me as she smiled a little more, obviously a little proud of herself. 

“I can tease you like that right? You’re not going to think I’m just here for the ride, are you?” she said, her tone very serious. 

“Oh love, yes, you can,” I said, crossing the room over to her. “I won’t doubt you again. Ever.”

Liz smiled and wrapped her arms around me, “I’m so glad she wasn’t your girlfriend.”

“There’s no one but you, Liz,” I comforted her. “No one.” I leaned down and tilted her chin so she would look up at me. “Complete honesty, I promise.” Our lips met and in that moment, everything was better. 

_Liz’s POV_

I needed reassurance. You know, to know that his feelings didn’t change. I needed to feel like he wanted me and he was telling the truth when he said he was falling for me. I kissed him hard and greedily. The television was still on and occasionally I would hear his voice as we kissed. It was distracting.

“Turn it off,” I said quietly while he was kissing my neck. “I can’t concentrate with Sherlock deducing everything.”

I heard him chuckle and flip off the tv before returning to me. “I will need to borrow your dvd’s though. I want to watch them but without you there.”

He tilted his head a little but didn’t fight me. “I will give you everything I have if it will help you.”

“Good, now take me to your bedroom,” I ordered with a smirk. I think I shocked him because it took him a moment for it to register. 

“Are you…” he started to ask me if I was sure but I was having none of it. 

“Ben, I’m not in the mood for anymore of your games. Either take me to your bed or take me home,” I said with a playful tone to let him know I wasn’t mad but genuinely wanted everything to go back to normal. 

Without a word, he took my hand and led me to his bedroom. It was just how I expected, masculine with dark, rich colors. Everything was neat and tidy too. There was a few pictures on his dresser of loved ones and some interesting art on the wall. His bed was covered in a dark grey comforter with plenty of pillows. It was the polar opposite from my girly, purple bedroom and I loved it. 

He was standing there watching me looking at his room. It felt weird. I felt like he was waiting for me to pass judgement. I stayed silent though and just looked at him. “Well, I didn’t have you bring me in here to look at your bedspread,” I teased. He was still anxious and worried. I felt the need to calm him down and comfort him. 

“No, I guess not,” he said, managing to smile but remained annoyingly motionless.

I sighed loudly and walked over to him, tugged on his hand and made him sit on the bed. Leaning over, I kissed him roughly to signal that I wasn’t going to tiptoe around him anymore. As we kissed, I straddled his lap which made us both moan. We both needed this reassurance, a re-commitment of sorts. 

Frenzied removal of clothing began. We quickly ended up naked with him still sitting on the bed and me, hot and wet for him. I knelt down and stroked him and licked the tip of his cock. His hands gripped my hair, pulling to the side so he could watch. I wanted to take my time but I was too impatient. Nothing needed to be said because he could tell by the look in my eyes that I just needed him in me right then. 

His hands lifted me up. “Come here,” he said. I stood there for a moment then knelt down on the bed and we kissed again. I was hungry and so was he. Without hesitation, I lowered myself down onto him and started to ride him. 

We lost control. I kept fucking him until I came and he finally pulled me off of him gently and laid me down. “Almost forgot something,” he said quietly before getting protection out of his nightstand. I moved to the center of the bed and waited for him patiently. He pulled me into a spooning position and lifted my leg up and over his. With a gentle rocking motion, he started to make love to me tenderly with his arms pulling me tight against him. 

His lips kissed my neck and nibbled on my earlobe. “Oh Liz,” he whispered in my ear. “You are so beautiful.I am so very lucky.”

I moaned as he said the words. My heart skipped a little when he moaned in response to me. We rocked each other gently to orgasm, coming almost at the same time. When it was over, he just held onto me protectively. I felt undeniably loved and cared for and I hoped that he did too.

“Darling, get comfortable in bed,” Ben instructed me. “I’m going to get us something to drink and maybe a snack. I’m a little hungry.”

I crawled under the comforter and waited, listening to him putter around in the kitchen for a few minutes. He walked back in with two glasses of milk and a napkin full folded up with something in the middle. “No crumbs in the bed,” he ordered with a silly smile. 

“Yes, sir,” I promised as he handed a napkin and a glass of milk. I eyed the cookies on the napkin closely. 

“Jammie dodgers,” he said with a laugh as he watched me pop the whole thing in my mouth. “Silly name for a biscuit. Just a shortbread cookie with some raspberry jam in the middle.”

“They are good,” I tried to say with my mouth full. Ben laughed as I swallowed and took a long drink of milk. “I like the silly name.”

After our snack, we settled in for the night. He told me about his work and how much he loved it. I heard stories of Sherlock and some of the films he worked on. Then we both got quiet. I leaned towards him and pressed my head against his chest. “I feel like I really know you now,” I confessed quietly. 

His hand ran up and down my back. “I hope you still like me,” he said, sounding a bit worried again. 

“Of course, I don’t think not liking you is possible.”


End file.
